Ubiquitous
2023-10-11 17:36:46 UTC
This ep begins with SLop stumbling through her front door clutching several
blurry six packs of beers. BWAH!!! I missed most of the remaining intro
because I had to regain my composure and start breathing again, but damn, she
looks like a haggard hillbilly with her hair like that and wearing that
poop-brown ensemble, and the glamour shot of the broccoli with sauce looks
vomitous. Before we bop to the opening credits, SLop proclaims "Immagona chug
a beer before we start cooking!". Whee!!! Looks like we're in for quite a
ride today,folks!
SLop begins with beer bread for her beer fonDON'T. "Be sure to use a bread
mix made with wheat", she tells us, adding "I mix my dough with a whisk
[instead of a spoon] because it's faster" and then whines about how hard it
is to get the dough out of afterward.
SLop proudly proclaims "I went to high school in college in WI" and how
everyone there loves beer and cheese. Not in the way you do, SLop.
"Put in a quarter tablespoon of cayenne QUICKLY".
She adds some Worcester sauce to the fonDON'T and claims that if you've been
drinking beer you can't say "Worcester" five times fast. You can't say it
ONCE while allegedly sober, you moron! Wait, did she say it correctly?
Her way of determining how much liquid to use for poaching the fish:
Put fish in pan, fill pan with water, remove fish, add a bottle of beer, old
bay and TEN peppercorns (gotta be exact because they're strong), replace the
fish, and squeeze in a lemon and simmer. Let's all sing the Hokey-Pokey
Haddock!
You put the haddock in
You take the haddock out
You add a little beer
and you stir it all about
Squeeze a little lemon
Let it simmer for awhile
THAT'S what it's all a-bout!
She CUTS her broccoli into tiny flowerets but uses pre-chopped onion?
Sandie kept saying "This is the best beer-ricotta-chive sauce you have ever
dreamed of." Sorry, but given a choice, I would never have dreamed of such a
combination. Do they make ricotta cheese in WI? Anywho, that sauce looked
vomitous.
"Today is all about beer, so you couldn't have an entire beer meal without a
rootbeer float, could you?" Hunh? SLop then tells us she's going to make
these root beer floats "with a TWIST!", and repeats she makes a "Very very
root beer float with a LOT of twists".
"I'm going to add something savory". SAVORY? Pretzels? In a float?
SLop has difficulty scooping out the ice cream (apparenty her hot water trick
didn't work), so she nukes it. SLop then shares her twelve-step pretezel
coating technique with us. For Pete's sake, lady, you're only coating
pretzels with melted chocolate chips!
Suddenly, SLop exclaims "OOOH! I think I entered '20 minutes' intead of '20
seconds'!!!!" and she rushes over to rescue the ice cream. BWAHAHAHA! Moron.
SLop pours the root beer and cream soda into the cup of ice cream and warns
us to be "thoughtful" when pouring it, as it starts to overflow the cup.
After a quick cut-away, she explains that she uses cream soda for a hint of
vanilla flaovour, then dumps in some doctored vanilla cool whip for extra
measure. As we bop out to commercial, SLop threatens us with a cocktail.
When we return from commercial, we can tell by the graphic on the screen that
it's now "Sandra's Cocktail Time!". Sandra announces she's going to make Beer
Bloody Marys. Oh, bloody hell! She tells us to get ice from the freezer
because you want them VERY cold. She grabs some V8 and two blurry bottles
of beer and dumps them into a pitcher, making a loud "Whoot!" as it foams up
over the top. She then explains that stirring with a wooden stick [sic] will
dissolve the bubbles,and suddenly the foam is gone! She rub rims of the
glasses with lemon, then puts some celary salt in bowl. She starts to pour
the drink into the glasses and suddenly she's salting the empty glasses. She
mumbles something about only wanting the ice in the pitcher to keep the drink
cold but then adds ice from the sink to the glasses and the pitcher.
And now, the tablescape portion of our show:
Beer coaster boookay (Several beer coasters glued to skewers)!
Inverted serving trays with coasters glued to them!
Buy all the unusual beer bottles in your supermarket and display them on your
shelves!
Take off the labels and use them as receipe gift cards for your guests!
Yeah, I think she's totally lost it...
blurry six packs of beers. BWAH!!! I missed most of the remaining intro
because I had to regain my composure and start breathing again, but damn, she
looks like a haggard hillbilly with her hair like that and wearing that
poop-brown ensemble, and the glamour shot of the broccoli with sauce looks
vomitous. Before we bop to the opening credits, SLop proclaims "Immagona chug
a beer before we start cooking!". Whee!!! Looks like we're in for quite a
ride today,folks!
SLop begins with beer bread for her beer fonDON'T. "Be sure to use a bread
mix made with wheat", she tells us, adding "I mix my dough with a whisk
[instead of a spoon] because it's faster" and then whines about how hard it
is to get the dough out of afterward.
SLop proudly proclaims "I went to high school in college in WI" and how
everyone there loves beer and cheese. Not in the way you do, SLop.
"Put in a quarter tablespoon of cayenne QUICKLY".
She adds some Worcester sauce to the fonDON'T and claims that if you've been
drinking beer you can't say "Worcester" five times fast. You can't say it
ONCE while allegedly sober, you moron! Wait, did she say it correctly?
Her way of determining how much liquid to use for poaching the fish:
Put fish in pan, fill pan with water, remove fish, add a bottle of beer, old
bay and TEN peppercorns (gotta be exact because they're strong), replace the
fish, and squeeze in a lemon and simmer. Let's all sing the Hokey-Pokey
Haddock!
You put the haddock in
You take the haddock out
You add a little beer
and you stir it all about
Squeeze a little lemon
Let it simmer for awhile
THAT'S what it's all a-bout!
She CUTS her broccoli into tiny flowerets but uses pre-chopped onion?
Sandie kept saying "This is the best beer-ricotta-chive sauce you have ever
dreamed of." Sorry, but given a choice, I would never have dreamed of such a
combination. Do they make ricotta cheese in WI? Anywho, that sauce looked
vomitous.
"Today is all about beer, so you couldn't have an entire beer meal without a
rootbeer float, could you?" Hunh? SLop then tells us she's going to make
these root beer floats "with a TWIST!", and repeats she makes a "Very very
root beer float with a LOT of twists".
"I'm going to add something savory". SAVORY? Pretzels? In a float?
SLop has difficulty scooping out the ice cream (apparenty her hot water trick
didn't work), so she nukes it. SLop then shares her twelve-step pretezel
coating technique with us. For Pete's sake, lady, you're only coating
pretzels with melted chocolate chips!
Suddenly, SLop exclaims "OOOH! I think I entered '20 minutes' intead of '20
seconds'!!!!" and she rushes over to rescue the ice cream. BWAHAHAHA! Moron.
SLop pours the root beer and cream soda into the cup of ice cream and warns
us to be "thoughtful" when pouring it, as it starts to overflow the cup.
After a quick cut-away, she explains that she uses cream soda for a hint of
vanilla flaovour, then dumps in some doctored vanilla cool whip for extra
measure. As we bop out to commercial, SLop threatens us with a cocktail.
When we return from commercial, we can tell by the graphic on the screen that
it's now "Sandra's Cocktail Time!". Sandra announces she's going to make Beer
Bloody Marys. Oh, bloody hell! She tells us to get ice from the freezer
because you want them VERY cold. She grabs some V8 and two blurry bottles
of beer and dumps them into a pitcher, making a loud "Whoot!" as it foams up
over the top. She then explains that stirring with a wooden stick [sic] will
dissolve the bubbles,and suddenly the foam is gone! She rub rims of the
glasses with lemon, then puts some celary salt in bowl. She starts to pour
the drink into the glasses and suddenly she's salting the empty glasses. She
mumbles something about only wanting the ice in the pitcher to keep the drink
cold but then adds ice from the sink to the glasses and the pitcher.
And now, the tablescape portion of our show:
Beer coaster boookay (Several beer coasters glued to skewers)!
Inverted serving trays with coasters glued to them!
Buy all the unusual beer bottles in your supermarket and display them on your
shelves!
Take off the labels and use them as receipe gift cards for your guests!
Yeah, I think she's totally lost it...
--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss
Lee.
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss
Lee.